I'm not engaged, but Darryl and I have been having some heated debates about wedding traditions.
Bachelor parties:
I have no idea what the traditions are for bachelor and bachelorette parties, but he thinks that he has zero say about what is going to go on at his. I think he has at least a 65-75% say. Why would his buddies want to take him some place he wouldn't enjoy? If I were a friend, I would ask the bride/groom for preferred activities and other preferences, but I would be the one to do the dirty work such as finding the perfect place, booking it, and splitting the cost with the other bachelors/bachelorettes.
Who pays for the wedding nowadays?
In the past, it's always been the bride's family. Recently, I've read that a lot of couples have been splitting the cost of the wedding, and are not even involving their parents. Darryl still believes that my family should foot the whole bill, but since my parents do not want to help me pay for my wedding, that means I have to. Since I thought that was completely unfair, I told him that I will intentionally leave out some of his friends I don't like from the guest list (there's only like 1 or 2.) I think that if I'm paying for everything, I should have some say about who I'm feeding a $60 meal to, and who I have to hug and be nice to (I can be fake nice, but I don't want to be forced on my wedding day, ya dig?)
In this modern day and age, I think some traditions need to be put to rest.
WEDDING!!!!!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteI love love LOOOOOOOOOVE them!!!
AHHHHHHHH *dies*
I'm kinda with Darryl on this one, but I'm super old-fashioned. But if my parents weren't going to pay, I'd expect the groom to split the bill... thats just pure evil.... come on now!
i think it should be split! tell darryl not to cheap out!!!
ReplyDeletedefinitely split the bill! the man has gotta man up! and besides, the more you spend on the wedding, the less you'd have to spend together! splitting the bill is a win-win situation!
ReplyDeleteThere's at least two reasons why a groom wouldn't want/need to take part in the planning process for his bachelor party. One is kind of practical and the other.... very Machiavellian. Firstly, Since the best man is in charge of planning the BP, it stands to reason that the groom would choose someone who knows him best and would likely already have a good idea as to what a good time at a party means to the groom. Secondly, if the groom doesn't take plan in the party, he can't very well be responsible for any activities involved or if anything goes wrong (ie. other dudes end up bored).
ReplyDeleteAs to the money issue, it's too old school to be taken seriously. The only reason the bride's family had to pay is because the groom would have "purchased" the bride through a dowry and the parents of the bride would in turn make a big show (through a ceremony) of what a rich and generous husband their daughter has hooked. sheessh. I guess the modern equivalent of dowry = Engagement ring, but unless he got you a super-blingy-"I need to refinance my mortgage"-kind of ring, I'd say split it.
It's always nice to hear another guy's POV! Now I also understand the reasoning behind a groom not having any part in planning the bachelor party :)
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed the feedback from everyone! I think Darryl is willing to pitch in, but he also assumes that if his parents know that my parents aren't helping, they will be more than happy to pitch in.