Work...

I imported this from my Xanga...

For those who don't know, I have two jobs. One is at a tutoring center called M** with like, 40 kids split up into different age groups, and the other is a private tutoring job that I do on my own with 2 girls.

Work at M** has been pretty frustrating lately, and it makes me sad that I let it get to me. I come home in a bad mood every Thursday! Sure, these are just little harmless kids at an after school homework center, but it's their reluctance to learn and do work that bothers me. They know that English, writing, and reading comprehension are their worst areas in school, yet they refuse to listen to me when I teach them ways to improve. I think it's the fact that they aren't at the age where school "matters" that causes this apathy, but right now is the time to be learning the basics so that they're prepared when it actually counts. I would enjoy it more if I knew that they actually valued what I'm teaching them, but they are very verbal about telling me how much doing worksheets, learning how to spell, and writing complete sentences sucks. All they want to do is math, write one word answers to everything, and talk about violence and Family Guy (which they tell me is where they learned English!)

I know that I would enjoy it more if they appreciated what I do because I enjoy tutoring my other students for that reason (among others.) Being appreciated at work makes it so much more worthwhile, but I'm sure that's the way it is at any job. The 2 girls are older so they understand that school is actually important, and I can tell they appreciate learning and improving themselves. It's the big smiles they give me when I tell them, "Good job!" or when they show me a high score on a test. It's also the fact that they listen to me and show me respect and gratitude when I find a way to help them understand the material they're having trouble with.

I think that's also what it comes down to: respect. I'm hesitant to say it's a cultural/family issue because it's such a rude generalization, but that's what it seems like. The kids at M** grew up in China or were the first in their family to be born in America. I know that some of their parents are rarely there to take care of them because they work multiple odd jobs, or are still in Taiwan or China. The girls I tutor are probably 3rd or 4th generation Asian-Americans with very involved, stable parents and grandparents. At M**, either they were taught to only respect the elders in their family, or they were never taught respect at all. The reason I don't want to make that generalization is because I have plenty of friends who are first generation Asian-Americans and they are some of the most amazing people I've ever met, but I'm sure it's also because their parents were around to raise their kids properly. Some of the kids in my M** class have been sent to the principal at school for behavioral problems (like stealing from classmates) so maybe it's just not in their personality to be respectful towards others.

I am so tempted to quit right now, but there's a piece of me that wants to see these kids improve and learn to appreciate what I'm trying to teach them. I know the improvement isn't going to happen fast, but I also don't have that much time to wait and see since I'm going back to school in March (and quitting in March.) I just want to hurry up and get my masters, get a real job, and move out of my parents' house already. I feel like a 30-year-old stuck in a 20-something's body. I think these issues are what have been keeping me awake so late every night....